Refining Your Writing: What Is Literary Restraint?

It's can be more difficult than you think

Full disclosure: I may be a little bit all over the place as I begin this, but it’s with intention.

In last week’s post about finding inspiration, I briefly wrote about how reading other memoirs can be helpful in learning about literary restraint.

If you are interested in writing memoirs, reading other memoir authors can be extremely enlightening (if not entertaining!). I enjoy reading other essayists and my bookshelves are home to many books from the memoir genre.

Reading other memoirists is a great way to learn about style, voice, and structure, inspire your own stories, and learn about the artistry of literary restraint.

What is literary restraint, you ask? I think I’ll cover that in next week’s post!

I am the first to admit that literary restraint has never been my best friend and it has taken me a long time to work through that in my writing. I think editing is really what made it click for me, and I always say that my own writing still can use a good editor who is not me. I can edit others in my sleep, but when it comes to my own work…yikes.

I think that may be true for many writers. It’s so easy to miss small things or want to hang on to our words. So many words. This brings us to…

What Is Literary Restraint and Why Is It Important?

Loosely defined, literary restraint is being mindful of and applying the appropriate balance of meaningful words in relation to your emotions and ideas.

As writers, particularly in the memoir genre, we can have a tendency to over-explain, provide more detail than necessary, and even lose control of our own emotions in our writing. This can sometimes make your readers uncomfortable not because of your story, but because of you as the author.

The cliché “less is more” comes to mind—but it’s true. Even in memoirs. Yes, even with our very personal stories. This is one of my own worst tendencies. I am extremely wordy and descriptive in my own writing. I really should be asking myself if it is adding to the story or detracting from my readers’ experience. I think being original and entertaining in format and storytelling is an absolute must, but we need to be cognizant of going too far with it as well. Are we simply brush stroking fun and fancy words? Or are we using them to properly illustrate the story in an engaging way?

Keeping Your Emotions In Check

The worst offender of them all—so much so that it deserves its own section—is conveying emotion.

Beginning memoirists often struggle with this concept as they can be eager to ensure their readers understand the feelings they went through in their story. They can go overboard with their words, language, and descriptions. Emotions are best felt through the beats of your story. Between the paragraphs. Between the sentences. In the silences. Writers must trust that their readers will feel the story without needing obvious cues. We don’t need you to tell us how you felt. We need you to just show us.

Refining Your Writing

When I edit (not just proofread), I look for all of the mistakes mentioned above. I think they may apply more to the beginning writer, but as I said—I can still be guilty of being overly wordy in my writing at times. Writers always have something to work on…I don’t care how successful they are. So, let’s recap ways you can practice restraint in your writing:

• When describing a person, place, or thing—remember: “less is more.” No need for over-flowery details if they don’t add anything to the story.

• Readers will feel your emotions in the beats of your story. It is not necessary for a writer to spell them in words or overly detail them.

• Trust your readers.

• Think of writing like painting a picture. Even though your story is personal, leave enough room for your reader to find something relatable in there, something of themself in the story. If you are out of control with your details, the only person you allow into the world of your story is yourself.

Have questions or thoughts about this week’s post? Is there anything you’d like me to cover in the future? Sound off in the comments!

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Next week I plan to tackle “What to do about family.” Thanks for reading! xo—Ki