I had a very painful breakup two years ago, though I've never written specifically about it. I've only alluded to the pain it caused me and how I was working my way through it, so I felt no need to ask my ex's permission. When I wrote recently about my daughter having to put her dog down, I did ask her permission, as I was revealing private details of her pain. I think you have to evaluate it on a case-by-case basis, and your list of questions is an excellent way to do that.
I have only one living member of my immediate family, and he and his wife are not online. I have used first initial or a slightly altered name when I've written about exes. I guess I'm fortunate that I haven't had any deeply negative family experiences that would necessitate my worrying about this. OTOH, I have written about former employers and I have changed the names and not mentioned a specific company, but that's to protect myself.
I just write about my family and friends. I do, however, make sure that what I'm writing isn't hurtful and, since I usually write humor, I make sure I'm the butt of the joke, so to speak.
Now when it comes to my ex-husband, I also write what I want. If he wanted to be talked about nicely, he should have behaved better!
I had a very painful breakup two years ago, though I've never written specifically about it. I've only alluded to the pain it caused me and how I was working my way through it, so I felt no need to ask my ex's permission. When I wrote recently about my daughter having to put her dog down, I did ask her permission, as I was revealing private details of her pain. I think you have to evaluate it on a case-by-case basis, and your list of questions is an excellent way to do that.
I have only one living member of my immediate family, and he and his wife are not online. I have used first initial or a slightly altered name when I've written about exes. I guess I'm fortunate that I haven't had any deeply negative family experiences that would necessitate my worrying about this. OTOH, I have written about former employers and I have changed the names and not mentioned a specific company, but that's to protect myself.
I think that's a really good way of going about it all the way around, for sure!
I just write about my family and friends. I do, however, make sure that what I'm writing isn't hurtful and, since I usually write humor, I make sure I'm the butt of the joke, so to speak.
Now when it comes to my ex-husband, I also write what I want. If he wanted to be talked about nicely, he should have behaved better!
I think you're right. You really need to use your common sense, have some compassion, and evaluate on a case-by-case basis. xo-Ki
Love your comment about your ex-husband! LOL! Yes, for me, self-deprecation is usually the key as well.