Send the letter or make the call. I was the recipient of such a ghosting by one of my former besties, and it was worse than a romantic break up. I guarantee it will mean something to her to get an apology from you. Even if your friendship is never to be revived, you will know you did the right thing in the end.
Somehow this healed the part of me that was ghosted by my best friend five years ago. We were inseparable through college and the seven years afterwards. She was one of my bridesmaids. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt something imperceptible happen between us and I felt sure I was imagining it.
Then she ghosted my baby shower. I haven't heard from her since.
I think of her all the time and only recently stopped wondering what I did wrong. Even though I know it was probably not about me, it still hurts. Pretending, just for a moment, that the writer of this was her made me feel a little better. So thanks, Kiki.
You never asked for the reader's advice so I should really shut the f*ck up. But have you considered apologising without any extra details? E.g. "I'm sorry for the way things went between us. I was immature. If ever you want to catch up, I'd love that. If you don't, I understand". P.s. I can't see anything unforgivable in this story. Just two young people doing young people shit. Xx
I like the way the story starts. Struggled with 'lost east coast weight and then found myself becoming embraced by Los Angeles’ warm limelight not long after I landed in Oz.' I settled on that meaning ppl found you more attractive after you lost the east coast weight.
Bro 😂 every time I hear the name Zelda, I think of Pet Sematary. Scariest scene. Brutal.
I like the farm town reference. There def is social butterfly's in small towns. I dated one.
Another angle to the problem is that you could get back in touch and wish you hadn't. She's had a full life to grow one way and you've had another. But maybe not.
I can relate. Had something similar happen and I still think about her. I have tried to reach out after years of silence but I was too late unfortunately. I can only hope she is happy in her life.
I really hope you send the letter. 💌 Use the words you have now to say what you want to say no matter how critical you are with yourself about what it sounds or feels like or send these words. This article. Just send something I'm sorry, can we talk? Anything. All my love. You can do this. 🙏🏻
I hope you send the letter! I was ghosted by my best friend of about eight years, also (not unlike in your case) after she got involved a man who I (I believe rightfully) sensed was controlling. It’s so devastating when this kind of situation happens. That was seven-ish years ago. I always figured that when they broke up she’d get back in touch, but I also could see how someone would feel that there’s no good way to. Whether you end up reconciling or not, at least she’ll know that she meant something to you
When my sister died, I experienced so much abandonment. I was in my early 20s and it seemed that everyone around me decided that my suddenly dead sister, the traumatic incident that killed her, and my grief were all just a big buzzkill.
My best friend was one of the people who hurt me. I had been hurt over and over by too many people during that time, so I cut her off.
About 10 years went by. Relationships ended and new ones began for both of us. I decided to message her one day. She responded immediately. We had dinner. We talked. We cried. We missed each other. We apologized.
We are best friends again. That bond was still there, intact under everything.
I’m not saying that’s the case in your situation. Whether you try or not is up to you… but if you don’t try, the answer will always be no.
My decades-long best friend and I had our first major falling out a few years ago. It was heart-wrenching. She reached out; we talked it out and I'm forever grateful. Make the call or send the letter.
It's never too late to make amends...I hope you do reach out to her at some point. It sounds like you had a special friendship worth trying to rekindle. And making the overture may help you forgive yourself...you don't deserve to live with regret!
Send the letter or make the call. I was the recipient of such a ghosting by one of my former besties, and it was worse than a romantic break up. I guarantee it will mean something to her to get an apology from you. Even if your friendship is never to be revived, you will know you did the right thing in the end.
I love this advice. Thank you so much!
I had a similar friendship end this way, though I’m still unsure who ghosted who. Your words gutted me in the best possible way.
Also, the marijuana demonstration story? Gold.
xo
Somehow this healed the part of me that was ghosted by my best friend five years ago. We were inseparable through college and the seven years afterwards. She was one of my bridesmaids. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt something imperceptible happen between us and I felt sure I was imagining it.
Then she ghosted my baby shower. I haven't heard from her since.
I think of her all the time and only recently stopped wondering what I did wrong. Even though I know it was probably not about me, it still hurts. Pretending, just for a moment, that the writer of this was her made me feel a little better. So thanks, Kiki.
You never asked for the reader's advice so I should really shut the f*ck up. But have you considered apologising without any extra details? E.g. "I'm sorry for the way things went between us. I was immature. If ever you want to catch up, I'd love that. If you don't, I understand". P.s. I can't see anything unforgivable in this story. Just two young people doing young people shit. Xx
She may not be hokd any grudges. I say send the letters. All of them. Whether she forgives you or not should be an issue now.
Do it for your peace of mind. I see this mistake eats you up even after the years tat past.
When my bestie ghosted me, I didn’t hold a grudge. But she did. After 12 years she showed up at my house and we chatted like nothing happened.
Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves first to find peace within.
I like the way the story starts. Struggled with 'lost east coast weight and then found myself becoming embraced by Los Angeles’ warm limelight not long after I landed in Oz.' I settled on that meaning ppl found you more attractive after you lost the east coast weight.
Bro 😂 every time I hear the name Zelda, I think of Pet Sematary. Scariest scene. Brutal.
I like the farm town reference. There def is social butterfly's in small towns. I dated one.
Another angle to the problem is that you could get back in touch and wish you hadn't. She's had a full life to grow one way and you've had another. But maybe not.
It's a good read. Thanks for making it that.
I can relate. Had something similar happen and I still think about her. I have tried to reach out after years of silence but I was too late unfortunately. I can only hope she is happy in her life.
Kiki, what a great and interesting story!
I made a similar mistake with my classmate. I tried to fix it, but she was cold for my mini betrayal. And I also deeply regret it. 😥
Definitely reach out! She might love to hear from you and it might heal you both.
i needed very much to read this. thank you a bunch for sharing!
Yup, NEVER loose your girlfriends. I told my daughter this when she was VERY little. It was the one thing she listened to.
I really hope you send the letter. 💌 Use the words you have now to say what you want to say no matter how critical you are with yourself about what it sounds or feels like or send these words. This article. Just send something I'm sorry, can we talk? Anything. All my love. You can do this. 🙏🏻
I hope you send the letter! I was ghosted by my best friend of about eight years, also (not unlike in your case) after she got involved a man who I (I believe rightfully) sensed was controlling. It’s so devastating when this kind of situation happens. That was seven-ish years ago. I always figured that when they broke up she’d get back in touch, but I also could see how someone would feel that there’s no good way to. Whether you end up reconciling or not, at least she’ll know that she meant something to you
When my sister died, I experienced so much abandonment. I was in my early 20s and it seemed that everyone around me decided that my suddenly dead sister, the traumatic incident that killed her, and my grief were all just a big buzzkill.
My best friend was one of the people who hurt me. I had been hurt over and over by too many people during that time, so I cut her off.
About 10 years went by. Relationships ended and new ones began for both of us. I decided to message her one day. She responded immediately. We had dinner. We talked. We cried. We missed each other. We apologized.
We are best friends again. That bond was still there, intact under everything.
I’m not saying that’s the case in your situation. Whether you try or not is up to you… but if you don’t try, the answer will always be no.
My decades-long best friend and I had our first major falling out a few years ago. It was heart-wrenching. She reached out; we talked it out and I'm forever grateful. Make the call or send the letter.
It's never too late to make amends...I hope you do reach out to her at some point. It sounds like you had a special friendship worth trying to rekindle. And making the overture may help you forgive yourself...you don't deserve to live with regret!